mel·an·chol·y/ˈmelənˌkälē/Noun: A deep, pensive, and long-lasting sadness.
I am not sure if that is the right feeling or not. While not exactly sad, I have had a gut feeling that not all is well. I am not sure why. But this weekend is very promising. A weekend of fun and excellent company. And maybe some fireworks.
I think it is time to start again. Start blogging, start reading blogs, start running, start working on my house, my yard. Just start.
It has been a good few months. Thanks to those that have made it so.
So, why did I leave?
Injury, personal issues, mental issues. But all those now seem to be resolved. My neck seems 99% healthy, my belly has grown to twice it's size since Sept 2011, my shoe size has gone up another size, my skin has tanned and my hands and fingers are all cut and bruised and all but one goat are gone (and he will be soon).
After getting injured and not being able to run St. Jude's or Disney I was really despondent for awhile. I tried running on New Year's Day and made it the one mile that I tried. Nothing hurt, and for 2 months afterwards I ran.
Then I got mental.
Crazy.
Not normal - well maybe crazy is normal in this mixed up world.
So I worked on getting uncrazy. It took time. Beer. Friends. But eventually, I think I have it under control. A little.
I ran. Once. A race. 5 miles. Buffalo Trace. I was 22nd in my age group. People were proud of me. Next year I get to run with the 50 year old kids. They will still kick my ass.
I bought new shoes. Bright green ones. (not sure these are the exact ones, but close)
Tomorrow is Boston. Tomorrow is my birthday which is the bigger event? I mean Boston is 115 years old, whereas I will only be 48. Boston would consider me a kid, a youngster. And I consider Boston old. Really old. And a little senile in dropping their qualifying times by 5 minutes. But I should respect my elders.
April 18 is a big day for a lot of runners. Some of you are lucky to be running Boston. A lot of us will watch for incoming results. Will Shalane have her big day? Will Ryan?
I will be trying to steal glimpses of the race from the conference room of work. Not everyone there understands the magnitude of this event. Not many understood the magnitude of my birthday. But some did.
For them I am glad.
It has been a bad couple of weeks for me. Work and personal. Turning a year older has nothing to do with it. Get old or die. Do we really have any other choice. But spending a birthday alone is not what everyone wants to do. Not what I really wanted to do.
So friends, such good friends that I consider them family, made sure that I wasn't alone. Hooker started it Friday night. My Hoooker - where would I be without Hoookers. Elliott and Henley took Saturday night and fed me. Spent two nice nights shooting the shit (guys don't talk, girls do) and having a few brews. It was good times.
Today was different. Mommy was taking me to dinner at 5. Red Lobster. Mikey loves some seafood. Today started atypical with a hearty (yes, not healthy) breakfast of bacon and eggs. Finish laundry, read, look at all work that needs done in TV room still and ignore that work.
Plans to see a movie later and meeting Hooker to pick up some stuff. But instead I was treated to a surprise party in my honor. Burgers, brats, dogs, party favors and cake all just for me. I loved it. There were Hookers, Elliotts, Morses and a Henley.
What's a Henley, don't ask, just be thankful there is only one.
It was a great time. Because of these people (and others) I continue to survive. I don't just hang on, but I thrive and I live. I in an existence that is codependent on them, but it is a symbiotic relationship. One that benefits both parties, though I do believe that I get the most out of it.
These people are the stuff of legends. They are knights of my round table. The shoulders of Atlas that hold me up. They are my Eureka and Nostradamus foretold of their coming.
Because of them I am.
Thank you
- the beginning of the end
A deep hole in my backward that supplies me with water.
Or
A sigh, a feeling of you really don't know.
I'm going with the first one. The weekend was great. I got no running in, but I got good company all weekend that I haven't had in awhile. I had my brain cleansed and a little bit of my soul as well. It was a good weekend. I did not get to meet SB but that is OK too.
I did not get a lot done on the kitchen or TV room project, but I got a lot of the next planning steps done. The next big kitchen project should be done by final four time.
The weather is starting to lighten up in central Illinois and soon my winter seasonal disorder should start to fade away. Still not sleeping well, but hopefully that ends soon.
Not much to day while I am at work. Maybe more later.
-the beginning of the end
New Leaf - usually means a new attitude, a turn of events for the better. Let's see if I can equal that.
Running - Since my last post (12 days ago - not a new leaf there), I have stuck with my marathon training plan. I haven't always made the dictated times or stated distance but i have given my best effort on each training run. My running has increased in mileage every week this month. My times have dropped each week. I am getting stronger and faster. For this I am proud and happy with myself.
New Leaf!
Work - Work has gotten better. My team has picked it up. We are working better together. We are getting tasks done and finding more work to do without it being handed to us. That is a good thing.
New Leaf!
Diet - I am slowly starting to eat a little better again. This is a plus. It keeps me healthy. It is flattening my belly. I am losing weight (mind you, I only want to lose about 7 lbs) but I am getting closer to what I want to be to be able to run better. I still lapse and have a pizza, but that is going to happen.
New Leaf!
Homestead - Thanks to a bunch of crappy bankers lending money on property only worth half of what it is listed at and bringing the economy to a crashing halt, the President has made it possible for me to get my mortgage rewrote by Fannie Mae. More than a 4 point drop in interest rates. It is awesome. Thank you silly bankers for allowing this to happen. You make my heart sing.
New Leaf!
Personally - I am great. Ok, maybe I shouldn't brag. But I got great friends. Real people even. People that actually talk to me with their mouths and vocal cords - not just electronically. I have great electronic friends as well. Of course this doesn't really count as a new leaf as they have always been here for me. I have met some new people. And I can't for sure guarantee they are great but they sure have started out on the right foot. They are great so far. I have also gotten reacquainted with some past friends as well. I am counting this as a
New Leaf!
What do you think?
-the beginning of the end
